Shush Girl... Shut your lips! Do the Helen Keller and Talk With Your Hips

Good Morning! This has been a day of epiphany; I am discovering quickly that today's teens are so worried about being non-conformist that non-conformity has become a conformist action! Everyone is the same and there is nothing anyone can do about it! I realize my title makes NO sense but it was the phrase on my mind but also a great example of conformity; Don't Trust Me is a horrible and stupid song and so many people like it that I'm disgusted. I try so hard to be non-conformist I practically battle myself to hate things I somewhat like. Some examples:

1. American Eagle Clothing Brand; the clothes are over-priced and brand their name EVERYWHERE but they are kinda cute

2. Twilight Books & Movies; yes, stupid but I gathered some entertainment. I say I would rather remove my face than watch the movie but it's not THAT bad (but still STUPID!)

3. Rhianna- Singer; though annoying her music is catchy and danceable.

So those are some examples of my own 'non-conformity'. In all of my blog entries I point out my own flaws but I find so many people that can't do that.

The Many Relationships of a Heartless High Schooler

Grade 9
1. A friend's guy's friend lol worst mistake of my life. This guy was a controlling, uptight asshole that would openly shove his godamn tongue down my throat in private but wouldn't even hold my hand in public. Cheated on me again, and again and dumped me when he didn't get laid; need I say more?
Duration: 3 mos.

2. A lifeless drone who's tongue was down my throat and hands were firmly on my ass for the full duration of our relationship. We went on one date and that was to 'see' a shitty movie.
Duration: 2 weeks

3. A sweet sensitie guy. Not bad on the eyes either ;). If he hadn't fallin in love with his best friend! This is the best friend that convinced him I cheated and ended our relatonship; only to ask me out 2 hrs. later.
Duration: 4 mos.

Grade 10
1. Sweet, kind and COMPLETELY ANNOYING!! He didn't know how to get angry (even when I cheated on him); it drove me BANANAS! I ended this because I felt guilty.
Duration: 3 mos.

2. It all started wih a car.... our relationship started wih sex and ended the same way. We dated until he took off after meeting my mother. Coward... we continued having sex for months after but hid it from everyone. This relationship was completely stupid.
Duration: 2 weeks Sexual Duration: 3 mos.

3. (Repeat of Gr. 10 # 1) We tried again but there was just no way it was gonna work. He was too nice and I was overwhelmed because I was still sleeping w/ #2.
Duration: 1 mo.

4. The strangest relationship I have ever encountered! We were so happy for the 1st few months but then he got clingy... REALLY clingy. He was always attatched to me. The relationship became all about the physical stuff. I was finished.
Duration: 9 mos.

Grade 11
1. A ginger kid with NO SOUL!!! He was so great for a couple weeks but slowly the relationship was nothing. I was a booty call. He ended it and it broke me. I fell for the old him; I didn't see what he had become unil it was too late. I hated myself.
Duration: 1 mo.

2. (Repeat of Grade 10 #4) Even more clingy!!!! Drove me completely crazy!!
Duration: 2 weeks

3. (Repeat Grade 10 #1 & 3) We tried again and things went really well until the relationship got in the way of my cadet career. I love cadets and I did care for him but I put 4 yrs. into cadets and I wasn't losing that for some High School boyfriend
Duration: 4 mos. (ended today)

The Road I Walk Is Long but It Leads to a Good End.

Life is both bitter and cold (like many of my friends); you can never turn back the clock or take back the things you say. I am not a person that wants to turn back the clock; I do what I want to do because I live one life and I intend to live my life to it's fullest. I make my decisions based solely on what makes me happy and a lot of the time my friends can't accept that. I have only 2 true friends that are there NO MATTER WHAT; she will always be there through anything while loving me like a sister and he gives me the advice I need, when I need it without making me feel lousy. I wonder why the world hates me so, then I figure it out. I am real! They can't face the fact that I am living my own life and I do it independently. I don't need a guy or anyone else to make me feel like a person; I am my own woman and my other 'friend' seems to like to forget that. He consistantly tries to make me feel like a low down scumbag and I am so tired of his bullshit I could puke. I used to admire his honesty but know I am tired of his judgementa; bullshit. To judge a person is human nature but to constantly voice and opinion that NO ONE asks for is just obnoxious and attention seeking. He tries so hard to be accpeted it's almost pathetic; I'm not accepted and I admit I try but I don't make everyone I love feel like shit to prove it. I've fallen for quite the guy this time; he's sweet and caring but now I'm being judged for liking someone. I love being the different woman I am and I love the woman that I will one day become; even if no one else does.

We Are No Longer a God Fearing Race

In the old days bible was law, there was no way around it, now it's a joke. We laugh at the wrath of a 'god' and I am not a god fearer; looking at society we were better off fearing god. When we fear god we avoided the deadly sins (and then some); lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy and pride.

In this general note, I'm not talking about catholics or christians, I am talking about the comman asshole in modern High School norms. When this world was god fearing it was a better place; people knew their place. They thought that if they did a bad thing they would be going straight to hell. I am an aithiest and I will be for the rest of my life. I was not raised to fear or even believe in god and I pay the price. I was not raised to believe that the 7 deadly sins

Nowadays suicide is all the craze EVERYBODY has to make an attempt; did anyone actually think that maybe some people sincerly want to die?! Suicide is a joke to these people and this utterly disguts me; my ex boyfriend threatens me with suicide every day and there ares some points where I wish he'd get it over with but the reality is: HE WILL NEVER DO IT! I do not wish death on him but he is driving me crazy!!

The world is a cruel place and it will never again be cleansed of the bad people we have all become.

Teenagers - The Flaws of My Kind

Though it's odd; I live in a world like every other typical teenager. Teenagers are all the same, we can argue non-conformity as much as we want, we're all the same people. Gossip is every teen's #1 concern; as if we all care who is fucking each other. We all want the next juicy gossip, many of my friends are prime example of this, I always wonder which of my friends will date the other tomorrow. Gossip starts to fit slowly into the harsh reality that ALL teens talk shit about each other, no living human being can say that they have never said anything negative about someone without their knowledge; we love to do it until it happens to us. I will be 1st to say that I am a guilty party, I often gossip and talk a lot of shit, but I don't sit around and act like I don't. Teens will never admit our own hypocrisy; we all judge each other for things we've either done or thought of doing. Every day my friend tell me not to talk shit about people but that friend talks shit more that ANYONE.
Subtlety is in short supply with teens and we sometimes couldn't care less; I know about 50 people that will openly discuss their sex life as if it has no effect on them. Sex is no longer a sensitive subject in modern life, it is a ploy in a teen's game to get to the top of the 'food chain', it works every time. The higher your 'nookie number' the better you are supposed to be. My number is 4 and nowadays I'm considered freaking Mother Teresa compared to the average modern teenager (According to MSNBC, the US average is 10.3 people) . We're not afraid anymore, with the availability of contraceptives and abortion, teens have become fully desensitised to sex and it's a disgusting thing. Again, I am a guilty party, I joke about sex ALL THE TIME and disrespect it's meaning of love and affection.
Love (HA!), we have taken the true meaning of that word and flushed it down the (metaphorical) toilet. Love used to be a true word and now it's used as a mating call for the teenage male to the teenage female. I have used i but I still use it for it's true meaning; I want it to tell someone that they mean alot to me and I want to be with them forever.

--------Erin Foote-----------