Shush Girl... Shut your lips! Do the Helen Keller and Talk With Your Hips

Good Morning! This has been a day of epiphany; I am discovering quickly that today's teens are so worried about being non-conformist that non-conformity has become a conformist action! Everyone is the same and there is nothing anyone can do about it! I realize my title makes NO sense but it was the phrase on my mind but also a great example of conformity; Don't Trust Me is a horrible and stupid song and so many people like it that I'm disgusted. I try so hard to be non-conformist I practically battle myself to hate things I somewhat like. Some examples:

1. American Eagle Clothing Brand; the clothes are over-priced and brand their name EVERYWHERE but they are kinda cute

2. Twilight Books & Movies; yes, stupid but I gathered some entertainment. I say I would rather remove my face than watch the movie but it's not THAT bad (but still STUPID!)

3. Rhianna- Singer; though annoying her music is catchy and danceable.

So those are some examples of my own 'non-conformity'. In all of my blog entries I point out my own flaws but I find so many people that can't do that.

The Many Relationships of a Heartless High Schooler

Grade 9
1. A friend's guy's friend lol worst mistake of my life. This guy was a controlling, uptight asshole that would openly shove his godamn tongue down my throat in private but wouldn't even hold my hand in public. Cheated on me again, and again and dumped me when he didn't get laid; need I say more?
Duration: 3 mos.

2. A lifeless drone who's tongue was down my throat and hands were firmly on my ass for the full duration of our relationship. We went on one date and that was to 'see' a shitty movie.
Duration: 2 weeks

3. A sweet sensitie guy. Not bad on the eyes either ;). If he hadn't fallin in love with his best friend! This is the best friend that convinced him I cheated and ended our relatonship; only to ask me out 2 hrs. later.
Duration: 4 mos.

Grade 10
1. Sweet, kind and COMPLETELY ANNOYING!! He didn't know how to get angry (even when I cheated on him); it drove me BANANAS! I ended this because I felt guilty.
Duration: 3 mos.

2. It all started wih a car.... our relationship started wih sex and ended the same way. We dated until he took off after meeting my mother. Coward... we continued having sex for months after but hid it from everyone. This relationship was completely stupid.
Duration: 2 weeks Sexual Duration: 3 mos.

3. (Repeat of Gr. 10 # 1) We tried again but there was just no way it was gonna work. He was too nice and I was overwhelmed because I was still sleeping w/ #2.
Duration: 1 mo.

4. The strangest relationship I have ever encountered! We were so happy for the 1st few months but then he got clingy... REALLY clingy. He was always attatched to me. The relationship became all about the physical stuff. I was finished.
Duration: 9 mos.

Grade 11
1. A ginger kid with NO SOUL!!! He was so great for a couple weeks but slowly the relationship was nothing. I was a booty call. He ended it and it broke me. I fell for the old him; I didn't see what he had become unil it was too late. I hated myself.
Duration: 1 mo.

2. (Repeat of Grade 10 #4) Even more clingy!!!! Drove me completely crazy!!
Duration: 2 weeks

3. (Repeat Grade 10 #1 & 3) We tried again and things went really well until the relationship got in the way of my cadet career. I love cadets and I did care for him but I put 4 yrs. into cadets and I wasn't losing that for some High School boyfriend
Duration: 4 mos. (ended today)

The Road I Walk Is Long but It Leads to a Good End.

Life is both bitter and cold (like many of my friends); you can never turn back the clock or take back the things you say. I am not a person that wants to turn back the clock; I do what I want to do because I live one life and I intend to live my life to it's fullest. I make my decisions based solely on what makes me happy and a lot of the time my friends can't accept that. I have only 2 true friends that are there NO MATTER WHAT; she will always be there through anything while loving me like a sister and he gives me the advice I need, when I need it without making me feel lousy. I wonder why the world hates me so, then I figure it out. I am real! They can't face the fact that I am living my own life and I do it independently. I don't need a guy or anyone else to make me feel like a person; I am my own woman and my other 'friend' seems to like to forget that. He consistantly tries to make me feel like a low down scumbag and I am so tired of his bullshit I could puke. I used to admire his honesty but know I am tired of his judgementa; bullshit. To judge a person is human nature but to constantly voice and opinion that NO ONE asks for is just obnoxious and attention seeking. He tries so hard to be accpeted it's almost pathetic; I'm not accepted and I admit I try but I don't make everyone I love feel like shit to prove it. I've fallen for quite the guy this time; he's sweet and caring but now I'm being judged for liking someone. I love being the different woman I am and I love the woman that I will one day become; even if no one else does.